So second writing that No one is going to read ever. I didn’t go back and read my first one I really don’t know why I left off on that. You know what was really bad was growing up in the ’80s being born in 1980. Reason why is it made me hopeless romantic you know watching John Cusack hold that fucking boombox above his head, when Harry met Sally, natural born killers, you know true love and sacrifice. I soon love lasted forever I know mine does or did or was going to. Always knew my wife didn’t really love me like I loved her. But what is went down I could have never predicted. When someone’s that cold it’s like what happened to this person you know. The lies and to see in the bad blood that she’s created and the manipulation and alienation she’s done with my son he’ll be 10 in June It’s just ridiculous she’s taking us from being best buddies to him not even want me to go to his games to watch him play baseball and she brings it up in court and says I yell at him games and stuff and I don’t do any of that I want to be as coach It’s like my whole life stream was to have children to be a dad. I waited 33 years because I wanted to be prepared when he was 12 weeks old she kicked me out said she was done after 17 years just done. I saw it coming is the thing. Like a year before we had our son I thought this isn’t going to work she’s distant you know things aren’t what they used to be it’s she’s colder and this is on the rocks but then she was like think we should have a kid now and I’m like yeah and I doubled down after that I was like maybe I’m wrong and then I was all in like a guy would be like a human would be like a normal person would be. I didn’t know she told her friend 2 years before that that she was going to have a kid with me getting to leave me cuz nobody told me until after. So she premeditated she basically faked it the last like 2 years, who does that? That’s not only not normal that’s downright sociopathic behavior. It’s true to say about love being blinding. It truly is. So I left when she asked me to leave cuz I grew up in a fighting household with divorce and stuff and it was bad and I didn’t want to put my kid through that so I just said okay I thought maybe just be short-term or something she gave me a list of things to change really just one thing and I did I changed it she would accept it. When you go to the dentist in your 20s and get your wisdom teeth taken out and then the dentist gives you 160 Norco tens and you don’t know that you can become addicted to them… There might be bad days ahead for you. It was just a rule of the dice right genetic predisposition. They’re from the doctor though they’ll be fine they wouldn’t give me something like that it wouldn’t give me something bad. The chances I’d be a drug addict to open yours is like two out of 10 like 20% so I mean come on This was the same time that oxycontin were real big around my town and I mean they were big here we were second to Boston only and we’re just some white trash tell in Indiana. It wasn’t a problem It’s still an epidemic in my town. I successfully got off I’m on Suboxone It’s like a opiate antagonist that I take very little love daily just because I’m afraid to stop cuz I’m afraid I’ll go back to doing whatever it took to get me high back then I struggled on and off with it too wasn’t like it was a permanent thing all the time. I was making like $1,500 a week so it’s not like you killed my pocketbook you know why I could do split my check in half and still pay bills easily and still get high and that’s what it ended up costing It’s just like they say. That first it’s 10 or 20 and then it’s 40 minutes and 80 and then it’s next thing you know it’s 260 a day or whatever milligrams and that a dollar milligram shit was getting expensive, but I was working a union job and had yards I mowed on the weekend and would grind stumps for people on Saturdays too like I was making money hand over fist I have a house to show for it I had a house but I gave it up in the divorce I just let her have it and then she sold it didn’t give me a dime of it I think she made like $70,000 or something from the work I did to it. I just wanted my son to have a roof over his head. I just wanted to play nice cuz I knew what power she had over me still. When someone controls you love they control your heart and they control your heart they control your soul when they control your soul they control your mind I was hopeless I’m still hopeless still getting abused by her cuz it’s never enough for her she’s a bully there’s nothing I can do about it she tried getting me to fight her new man had him put his hands on me at a visit one day cuz I used to be a fighter you know which I still am if the price is right you know mostly I stood up for the people who wouldn’t stand up for themselves and what I thought was an injustice and look at this injustice going on with me and no one can help me and the people I hired to help me the state workers and stuff they turned against the instantly and took her side cuz she’s really fake and really good at it they don’t see the bad things. She lied about all kinds of things in court on the paperwork she’s like the over ex friends she’s lied to her everybody to my son It’s like what you hear my story it’s about enough that I did what I did and ended up where I’m at I don’t need a lot of help to make things worse. So I was clean she started not letting me see my son but tell me to come over tomorrow at 2:00 you know I wanted to see him everyday and she started letting that not happen and she started busting appointments you know like I’d show up and they wouldn’t be there and shit like that. I was broken I didn’t see a way to win I didn’t see light at the end of the tunnel So what did I do with 36 years old. Did I put my chin up and fight forward to the pain crying all the time feeling broken cuz I lost my marriage and I lost my son I lost my life my reason to live my responsibilities people that relied on me I was worthless I got on drugs not the kind I was doing just started doing speed because it was around I’d never tried it but I didn’t care I started going to casinos all the time. I was just running wild and in this time I made new friends if you can call them that and one of them was a chick who got in trouble a couple times it was looking at 6 months in jail so instead of going to jail she decided that she would wear a wire on me and have me sell her a 20 sack of drugs. I wasn’t a dealer I just happened to have someone on me you begged me like for 5 hours texting me and shit so I was just finally like all right I’ll steal your 20 sack whatever just come get it just bothering me and I didn’t think it was that the good deal I never got in trouble before so I got to clean slate well come to find out for some odd reason when I go to court for this 20 sec I sold I think that I’m not that big of trouble you know I told my parents and my people I’m like I don’t worry about it it’s nothing in that judge looked at me and he said we’re going to make an example out of you I see what do you mean he says I know this is your first defense he goes but you’re going to prison for 27 months basically so he told me. So there I was 36 years old Never been in trouble broken man standing in court devastated once again because I thought I had some clout I guess. I was wrong. So I didn’t even know the court system I didn’t know things I was like so I got to go now lol looking back it’s kind of funny you got to find humor and things or you will fucking pull your hair out. Yeah it was right then My mom was devastated too she’s I slept at her and my dad and I said it’ll be okay It’s only 27 months I’m all right. They sent me this place called westville. Westville is between well it’s right on the outside of this town that you might have heard of before called Gary Indiana. Michael Jackson’s from there but it just happens to be the murder capital of the world it probably the most ran down town in America. Where am I from I graduated with 56 white kids in a little country school out in the cornfields about is white as you can get. Thank God I’m not a racist nor do I have any preconceived notions about who people are going to be by the way they look I’m smarter than that I don’t like surprises so I don’t make assumptions I just learn as I go along. I guess part 3 be about prison and what happened there and how it still affects me to this day. Number three is right around the corner.
Anti-Victim 